Inclusive Experiences for Teens are Necessary, Important and Entirely Possible

An inclusive teen program benefits everyone.

Building an inclusive program for teens will be challenging if you don't personally embrace a philosophy of inclusion. Unless you truly believe in the value of inclusion across every experience, you are bound to get stuck in notions such as, "Having her there takes something away from the other teens," or, "They shouldn't always have to look out for him." Such fallacies will persist until teen educators embrace the value of inclusion and recognize that an inclusive community is a stronger community for everyone. 

A highlight of my work in Jewish educator is leading informal experiences with teens. I relish each opportunity to teach, guide, mentor, counsel, and support this age group. And I am exceptionally proud of the unique model we have built in our congregation. We have created a structure that affords all students, regardless of ability or need, the opportunity to participate fully. Including overnight experiences. And it works.

Synagogues across North America continue to lament a significant decrease in engagement with Jewish life after bar and bat mitzvah, but when you ensure that the post b’nei mitzvah program is fully inclusive, you maximize opportunities to continue learning, growing and engaging with Jewish life experiences for all teens. Further, there will be opportunity to socially engineer relationships between teens, and you will help to maximize their potential for developing strong Jewish friendships. 

Professor Steven M. Cohen states, “Jewish educators should have an explicit mission to bestow Jewish friendship networks on children and adults who are increasingly unlikely to find them on their own.”

Teens with disabilities are entitled to the same Jewish opportunities that their peers experience. Inclusive teen experiences are necessary, important and entirely possible. 

Contact me to learn more about how to build an inclusive teen community.

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Recognizing Ableism - And Clear Ways You Can Work to Eliminate It

I was reading a well-known and highly regarded book about a significant Jewish spiritual practice when I stumbled onto the following passage:

The Hebrew term for gratitude is hakarat ha’tov, which means, literally, “recognizing the good.” The good is already there. Practicing gratitude means being fully aware of the good that is already yours.

     If you’ve lost your job but you still have your family and health, you have something to be grateful to be grateful for.

     If you can’t move around except in a wheelchair but your mind is as sharp as ever, you have something to be grateful for.

     If your house burns down but you still have your memories, you have something to be grateful for.

     If you’ve broken a string on your violin, and you still have three more, you have something to be grateful for.

I was instantly struck by the ableism in this passage. I really wanted to be wrong, so I quickly snapped a photo and sent it off to a trusted friend/colleague/disability advocate who confirmed what I already knew. Her words, “That line is so problematic. People are so quick to pit physical and cognitive disabilities against one another and to create an arbitrary hierarchy of disability. There were so many other examples the author could’ve used. I agree with you - that one misses the mark entirely.” Sigh.

A Powerful Metaphor for Inclusion - Ubuntu

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Deep, meaningful lessons about inclusion can pop up in the most surprising places.

Although, I suppose you might also argue that such lessons become obvious to me because I am open to them, or even that I am looking for them, but that's a whole different conversation.

Anyway, I was reading a novel - the seventeenth in a cozy mystery series that I have enjoyed over the years - when I stumbled across this line:

Ubuntu is a deep-seated belief that humanity is something we owe to one another. How I act toward you is what defines me. Not what I have or what I wear - but how I treat you, how I interact with you.

My "inclusion radar" immediately on high, I decided I need to know a little more about this South African concept.

Teach the Way They Learn

“If a child can’t learn the way we teach, maybe we should teach the way they learn.”

~ Ignacio Estrada

It sounds so simple, doesn't it? 

And yet, if we look closely at our classrooms, we will see that this is just not always happening. There continue to be teachers who expect all of their students to move at the same pace, teachers who rarely vary their teaching style, and teachers who continue to struggle to meet the needs of diverse learners.

There Is No Shame in Asking For Help

There is no shame in asking for help. 

We live in community, and at the core of a successful community are relationships built upon networks of interdependence. Yet, for so many, asking for help is hard.  

We are bombarded by images of how to raise our children to be independent, but independence does not mean solitary. The secret no one shares is that knowing how and when to ask for help is a sign of true developmental maturity.

There is no shame in asking for help.

Practice Makes Better

I have often used the phrase, "Everything I need to know I learn from Facebook." While a bit of a play on "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten," I really can learn quite a lot from quick scrolls through my news-feed a couple of times each day.

Sometimes I learn of a challenge a friend is going through so I can offer support. 

Sometimes I learn of a great accomplishment and can share in the pride.

A Word of Caution as Jewish Disability Awareness, Acceptance, and Inclusion Month Ends

Whew. We made it. Another Jewish Disability Awareness, Acceptance, and Inclusion Month in the books. Quite a few people have heard me refer to February as tax season for those of us in the Jewish disability inclusion world. I am not even a little bit sad to see the month come to an end.

It is certainly a wonderful opportunity to raise awareness while highlighting great resources and the opportunities that already exist within our communities. I hope it has and will lead to the opening of new doors that were once closed.

But I want to make a request:

In a world that still focuses so heavily on programs over relationships, I worry that JDAIM itself becomes the answer for some communities. I am begging you to remember that in and of itself, JDAIM is NOT inclusion. No one program is inclusion.

Using M&M's to Teach Diversity and Disability Inclusion

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If you search for ideas to teach diversity in the classroom, you will find dozens of articles about helping children to learn about and appreciate multi-cultural and racial differences. This is wonderful. This is important. This is necessary. 

And this is a missed opportunity to also teach about differences in ability.

All the Things You Shouldn’t Say

We've met.

You are a Jewish professional or a lay leader who cares about your community. You are deeply committed to the people and the organization you serve. You make it your business to read, stay current, understand trends, and learn as much as you can. You understand that what you do is about more than the people you serve; you recognize that the future of the Jewish people rests in your hands.

I admire you. I appreciate you. I respect your commitment and recognize that you want what’s best for your community. And I know that deep down you genuinely want to live the values you believe in. 

But you are still struggling to get it right when it comes to inclusion. Despite your best intentions.

I want to help you.